BY: Zaniah Boykin
Published 16 hours ago
Wale once said, “Breaking up is hard to do, and moving on is even harder.” And for those of us whose sensitivity is our superpower, it can feel even more difficult. Dating is often a learning experience, and while mastering the art of getting over a breakup isn’t a one-size-fits-all process, there are some steps that may help. Here are five ways to get over a breakup.
1. Be sad.
This sounds like a sign of weakness, but it’s not. Allowing yourself time to grieve the relationship, whether three days or thirty, helps you process your emotions. Letting yourself feel your feelings doesn’t mean you’re dwelling on the past. It just means you’re giving yourself a set period to acknowledge your emotions. By leaning into your feelings, you lower the risk of rebounding with someone with the same negative behavioral patterns as your ex. You also give yourself time to reflect and prevent carrying negative patterns into your next relationship.
2. Lean on your support network.
Hopefully, you’re not someone who abandons your platonic relationships when you’re in a romantic one — because now is when you’ll really need your support system. Unlike family, who (hopefully) love you because they have no choice, friends are the people who consistently choose you over months, years, and even decades. Regardless of how the breakup happened — whether mutual, you dumped them, or they dumped you, it can shake your confidence and leave you questioning your worth. This is where emotionally intelligent friends can remind you of who you are because they love you and actively choose to be in your life. They can affirm you as you work on affirming yourself.
3. Get into your body.
Whether it’s dancing, yoga, walking, or working out, physical activity can be a great way to process complex emotions. Yes, have the ice cream and wine once or twice a week if that helps soothe you during this emotionally chaotic time. But don’t forget to let your body’s natural endorphins do what they’re designed to do. Instead of relying solely on external sources of comfort, let yourself experience the dopamine rush from completing a 15-minute workout. Most importantly, rest. Life doesn’t pause for breakups; jobs and bills keep coming. That said, taking care of your physical and mental health is essential.
4. Find things to be grateful for and move forward.
Ariana Grande’s song “Thank U, Next“ might sound cheesy to non-pop fans, but it’s an empowering way to look at dating. If nothing else, relationships teach you valuable lessons about yourself and others. Maybe your ex taught you what you won’t tolerate in your next relationship. Getting dumped may have shown you the importance of effective communication. A mutual breakup could teach you that forcing things never works. Whatever the lesson, take it, be grateful you learned it, and apply it moving forward.
5. Get back out there (after taking a break).
No matter who you date or what your relationship history looks like, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. If we all gave up on things just because they didn’t work the first, fifth, or hundredth time, we wouldn’t have cars, planes, trains, or the laws that protect equality — basically, all the good stuff that makes life worth living. So, don’t give up on love! You deserve a happy, fun, healthy, fulfilling relationship. There’s a lid for every pot; you just haven’t met yours yet!
What are some of your go-to ways for getting over a breakup? Comment below!
